Ringing in the New Year with Kevin Steen's Bells

Kevin Steen isn't exactly your stereotypical oh-so-friendly Canadian neighbor, but he is a man that has some real pride in his manhood!

Big ass, big balls, big attitude. What's not to love?

And it looks like Kevin is packing some serious spunk tanks... take a look at when he sang Daniel Bryan happy birthday:

It turns out that the original video has a comment that perfectly describes how I feel about this moment:

Kevin's no-DQ match with Tommy Dreamer turned out to be the perfect place to put those bull balls through the ringer -- within the first five minutes, we had our first nutshot!

"BOOM!" -Tommy Dreamer
Kevin yelps as Tommy knocks his swimmers out cold.

Looks like Kevin might have tried to go low on Tommy, but Tommy sent that move straight back into the swingset. With Kevin's nuts wide open for attack, Tommy punts those balls harder than Kevin ever wanted him to.

The sack attack sends Kevin reeling out of the ring, where he wants to make Tommy feel that pain... an eye for an eye, a nut for a nut.

Spread those legs, Tommy boy, and why don't you just sit and think about what you just did to me?

Unfortunately, from that point on, Tommy had a little more anger to unpack than we thought, using Steen's weight against him.

The turnbuckle is one of the biggest (literally) enemies of a dude's testicles in a wrestling ring. Unfortunately for Kevin, his big ass didn't protect his big balls one bit.

Payback time! Kevin strikes back with a high-five to the low-two.
You can feel the pain in Tommy's facial expression... hot!

Kevin had also put Tommy in a tree of woe, but with this seemingly being a karma match, Tommy decided to put the heat on Kevin's prized possession -- the good ol' family jewels.

I hope your grandkids feel this, Steen!

In such a helpless position, Steen can't help but (unsuccessfully) guard his battered boys with his hand as Tommy mercilessly impales them.

But oh boy, Tommy ain't done with Kevin's babymakers just yet. Tommy grabs the ring bell, and positions it to give Kevin the feeling of what it's like to have his bells rung.

Hey, camera guys, make sure you're focused on these big targets!

Ballseye! The sheer force of the nutshot from the massive hammer
probably made Kevin's nuts shrivel in pain and fear. Mostly pain.

The pain leaves Kevin speechless.
His poor testes hurt so bad that holding them would make it worse.

In the end, Kevin wins the match, but not without an important message echoed by his fans:

"Tommy, if you can hear this, you're one of the toughest motherfuckers I've wrestled. Thank you."
Kevin may be thanking him for a challenge, but I'll bet my nuts that his balls sure weren't thanking that man.
Someone fetch an ice pack!

Kevin's balls got some good abuse in this match -- but if there's any testament to testicle toughness, it's probably Kevin's second kid... so at least one of those fat ass-slappers is still pumping good baby batter!

So, it seems we have concluded that...

... real men go for the testicles. A lot.

See you in the new year.