The Power of Dudes' Nuts

Take a look and tell me what you see... I see handsome Dashing Cody Rhodes, serving up a hot bod with some nice bulge. I mean, look at those man eggs! I wonder if they're harder to crack than real ones... Maybe Cody's junk has met its match. Big Show's pouch may not look huge all the time, but there's no question his sperm factories worked overtime to make him the massive man he is. He just reeks of testosterone. Our man Big Show can learn Cody a lesson, but he isn't so masterful with his moves... he's more of a... brute force type guy. He sets Cody up for a gut bust in the corner, but his slight lack of grace sent his meaty right thigh swiftly between Cody's legs. I don't think Cody's balls can take this kind of bangin'... but Big Show left the boys no choice. After all, it's not like Big Show is gonna stop and cry about busting some stud's weak nuts. Let's feel that ball-achingly good pain a li...

You heard it right... staple guns... not quite the nut punch you expect. But first, let's meet the dudes in the ring. Tyson Dux (Tyson Moody) has been in the wrestling scene for over 20 years, but he's still got spunk like the day he started wrestling at 18. Aging like fine wine. Of course, we gotta see what we're workin' with... Plump taters make for an easy target. But Tyson's got trouble today -- Jimmy Havoc... Let's see how Tyson fares. First step... give the boys a feel for what's comin'. Ooh... Jimmy Havoc goes right for the money shot! Getting sacked in the ballbag has Dux weak at the knees to protect the jewels, but boy, if he knew what was coming, he'd clutch those pearls tighter. Though the pain on his face is already super hot! But, of course, we can't keep going without some more dirty tricks... H ere's a common theme that'll carry on: Even the smallest of objects can cause a ...

Poor dude cups his balls, hit like some dollar-store billiards by his opponent. When this dude gets slammed onto the billiard table, his instinct is to spread his legs in defeat. But man, he doesn't even know defeat. His saggy jewels hang in the wide open shooting zone, surrounded by a set of billiard balls that weigh only about ten times as much. He lies there as his opponent decides to strike some balls to blow off some steam, then...  WHAM!  Poor guy has no idea if this dude drove his tip ;)  into the wrong spot or if he just became a victim of some brutal ball-on-ball assault. His hand rushes to cover his boys, who never expected an incredibly mean ding dong ditch. Couldn't we say he deserved it, though? I mean, look at this dude... he's got his legs spread like his opponent just took him out to dinner! Maybe the date didn't go so well... and his opponent is only going to let the poor guy "bust a nut" the way he wants to.

"Sorry about that bud, no hard feelings, eh?" The meathead stud, easily three times the size and weight of the jobber, rocked those stones harder than the young'un's hand ever has. The heel laughs off the manhood brutality, but you could just about see the tears about to come out of the jobber's purple face... almost as purple as his balls. Poor kid holds onto his shattered dreams as hard as he can, but the bully crushed any drop of manhood out of those grapes. Should've left those valuables at home, because those puny white boy nuts never stood a chance in the ring! Hard to tell if the ballbreaker came from those meaty knuckles, muscly forearms, jewel-shattering kneecaps, thunder thighs, or that wieldy boot of his. All I know is meathead's got some tackle to carry out a lineage-ender like that with ease, and I sure wish he'd screw my nuts like that. Hot!

Mr. Big Shoe also happens to be Mr. Big in the Pants... and rasslin' dirty ain't cheatin' for a man who wins. The cocky jock drops his weight on the poor kid, and -- without warning -- drives that big Nike shoe straight into the dude's unsuspecting left nut. A bunt to the bag is enough to make any man rush to nurse the spunk bunkers, but this dude got locked into a pretty compromising position... his swimmers drown as the poor nugget shrinks in fear of a real man. Though, hey, if you're gonna ram the power of your manhood into another dude's sorry excuse for a sack, Nike's got some great advice for ya -- "JUST DO IT." You might even get half his set as a trophy, especially when he can only manage to shoot blanks for his girlfriend later. Ha!

Two studs are fighting each other... but as one wrestler turns around to distract the ref, his arch-nemesis drives his wieldy boot into the dude's huge orbs with a sadistic laugh. "If I were in front of you, I would kick your nuts so hard you would cry!"

Jaxson James is a country stud worth drooling over... but like many other wrestlers, his ruggedness won't help his ball strength one bit. Those poor boys are about to get whupped. Hey, country boy, you wanna be a farmer? Here's a couple of ache'rs! But damn, the look of agony on his face is hot as hell.

An oldie but goodie... cocky stud gets his pride and joy put in its place. But man, with legs spread like that, his sack was practically begging to be targeted. Bet his girlfriend wasn't too happy that night...

The Grappler was really out to crack some eggs! The young stud's protein sack was defenseless against the brute's testosterone-driven fight. The beefy heel's busts really left Matthews' manhood where it belongs -- below his own. Let's see how your boys like this... The Grappler's hard punt sends Matthews to nurse his bawling balls in record time. "Hey, numb nuts, who would be stupid enough to punch their own balls?" This one's my favorite. Damn, he got the nads good... I admire a heel that would make me embarrass my manhood like that. Link to match

Look at the size of that stud’s hands! No way those pathetic boy nuts stand a chance.

That brutal blow to his land down under demands an apology to the missus… damn. That heel could learn my twins a deserved lesson with a ruthless rack like that. Link to match

Damn! Can’t help but be drawn to those handsome sets of babymakers. Don’t worry – you’ll get a good whiff of the boys when he makes your beta ass kiss ‘em.

Beefy Big Show can sure tip the scales… but Al Snow knows that 400-pound Paul’s weighty eggs are no match for the 16 lb. bowling ball. Al sends the wrecker into Big Show’s nutsack with full force, squashing his poor nuggets flat! He gasps with shockwaves of pain as the sperm in his hot and thick two-ball compound is obliterated! Our big guy will be shooting blanks for a good while!

Poor kid gets a gut-wrenching blow to his tender spuds… from one man to another, with the kid about to hurl, he knows his nut butter has turned sterile early – call him “One-Nut Wonder!” This is how a man establishes his dominance… straight shots to the family jewels!