Cody Rhodes and the Big-Ass Nut Crusher

Take a look and tell me what you see... I see handsome Dashing Cody Rhodes, serving up a hot bod with some nice bulge.

I mean, look at those man eggs! I wonder if they're harder to crack than real ones...

Maybe Cody's junk has met its match. Big Show's pouch may not look huge all the time, but there's no question his sperm factories worked overtime to make him the massive man he is. He just reeks of testosterone.

Our man Big Show can learn Cody a lesson, but he isn't so masterful with his moves... he's more of a... brute force type guy. He sets Cody up for a gut bust in the corner, but his slight lack of grace sent his meaty right thigh swiftly between Cody's legs.

I don't think Cody's balls can take this kind of bangin'... but Big Show left the boys no choice. After all, it's not like Big Show is gonna stop and cry about busting some stud's weak nuts.
Let's feel that ball-achingly good pain a little slower...

You can just see the shock…

Defenseless Nuts

Damien Rush wishes this was a piledriver. Hung upside down at the gut, he braces himself at the dude's knees, just to feel a growing bulge against his back... he's yet to realize that his perky balls are perfectly perched on his taint, wide open for some good manhandling. Suddenly, Damien finds himself howling in pain as a bully decides to mess with his ability to have kids. "Ha, who knew it'd be this easy to get a dude singing soprano?"
Damien tries so hard to bring his voice back down 3 octaves to stop embarrassing the hell out of his manhood, but the bully's relentless squeezing, squashing, and kneading of his spunk bunkers sends his sperm soldiers overboard. Now, he's left at the mercy of two dudes who will never let him forget this moment once they let him go.

Got His Globes Feelin' Blue

See that face? That's the face of a dude experiencing the power of his own testicles -- or lack thereof. After he left his twins open for a nutshot, they will never let the man forget just how weak and fragile his manhood really is. Those balls are turning about as blue as those wrestling tights as the poor guy gives himself an emergency nut rub... looks like he'll just be playing with half a set from now on.

Three Strikes, He's Out: Bruce Santee

Heads up -- I'm trying out a new way of embedding images and animated shots into my blog, so make sure to bust my balls if things aren't working for ya! 😉
Wanna protect your nuts in the ring? Don't turn your back to another man.

Bruce Santee stood with his legs apart, distracted with some dude in the audience and the ref... little did he know that the real threat was coming for his pride and joy -- the manhood.

First, let's have a look at the goods...
Dude's got some nice spunk bunkers, snug in those nut huggers.

Nick Fame seizes the moment, giving Santee some nasty hits in the trunks.

Santee, immobilized by the first uppercut, stands there and cops two more doses of birth control.

Let's see that nut assault in all its glory...

Strike 1: Make the man weak at his knees Strike 2: Crush his nuts with the power of yours Strike 3: Knock his baby batter OUT!

The best part is when Santee acknowledges his boys got busted... bet …

Staple Guns Punch Harder Than Fists

You heard it right... staple guns... not quite the nut punch you expect. But first, let's meet the dudes in the ring.

Tyson Dux (Tyson Moody) has been in the wrestling scene for over 20 years, but he's still got spunk like the day he started wrestling at 18.

Of course, we gotta see what we're workin' with...

But Tyson's got trouble today -- Jimmy Havoc...

Let's see how Tyson fares. First step... give the boys a feel for what's comin'.

Getting sacked in the ballbag has Dux weak at the knees to protect the jewels, but boy, if he knew what was coming, he'd clutch those pearls tighter. Though the pain on his face is already super hot!

But, of course, we can't keep going without some more dirty tricks...

But now, for the part you came for...

No one wants to see @JimmyHavoc staple my nuts 🤔 or do they? Now I want to 😏 — Tyson Dux (@TysonDux) May 11, 2018

Damn, Tyson wants to see it too? Maybe there is some pleasure in the pain... ;)

A shot like that…

Billiards and Ballsacks

When this dude gets slammed onto the billiard table, his instinct is to spread his legs in defeat. But man, he doesn't even know defeat. His saggy jewels hang in the wide open shooting zone, surrounded by a set of billiard balls that weigh only about ten times as much. He lies there as his opponent decides to strike some balls to blow off some steam, then... WHAM! Poor guy has no idea if this dude drove his tip ;) into the wrong spot or if he just became a victim of some brutal ball-on-ball assault. His hand rushes to cover his boys, who never expected an incredibly mean ding dong ditch.
Couldn't we say he deserved it, though? I mean, look at this dude... he's got his legs spread like his opponent just took him out to dinner! Maybe the date didn't go so well... and his opponent is only going to let the poor guy "bust a nut" the way he wants to.

Straight Cheesin' with Uni-Ball

The meathead stud, easily three times the size and weight of the jobber, rocked those stones harder than the young'un's hand ever has. The heel laughs off the manhood brutality, but you could just about see the tears about to come out of the jobber's purple face... almost as purple as his balls. Poor kid holds onto his shattered dreams as hard as he can, but the bully crushed any drop of manhood out of those grapes. Should've left those valuables at home, because those puny white boy nuts never stood a chance in the ring!

Hard to tell if the ballbreaker came from those meaty knuckles, muscly forearms, jewel-shattering kneecaps, thunder thighs, or that wieldy boot of his. All I know is meathead's got some tackle to carry out a lineage-ender like that with ease, and I sure wish he'd screw my nuts like that. Hot!