The Power of Dudes' Nuts

You heard it right... staple guns... not quite the nut punch you expect. But first, let's meet the dudes in the ring. Tyson Dux (Tyson Moody) has been in the wrestling scene for over 20 years, but he's still got spunk like the day he started wrestling at 18. Aging like fine wine. Of course, we gotta see what we're workin' with... Plump taters make for an easy target. But Tyson's got trouble today -- Jimmy Havoc... Let's see how Tyson fares. First step... give the boys a feel for what's comin'. Ooh... Jimmy Havoc goes right for the money shot! Getting sacked in the ballbag has Dux weak at the knees to protect the jewels, but boy, if he knew what was coming, he'd clutch those pearls tighter. Though the pain on his face is already super hot! But, of course, we can't keep going without some more dirty tricks... H ere's a common theme that'll carry on: Even the smallest of objects can cause a ...

Poor dude cups his balls, hit like some dollar-store billiards by his opponent. When this dude gets slammed onto the billiard table, his instinct is to spread his legs in defeat. But man, he doesn't even know defeat. His saggy jewels hang in the wide open shooting zone, surrounded by a set of billiard balls that weigh only about ten times as much. He lies there as his opponent decides to strike some balls to blow off some steam, then...  WHAM!  Poor guy has no idea if this dude drove his tip ;)  into the wrong spot or if he just became a victim of some brutal ball-on-ball assault. His hand rushes to cover his boys, who never expected an incredibly mean ding dong ditch. Couldn't we say he deserved it, though? I mean, look at this dude... he's got his legs spread like his opponent just took him out to dinner! Maybe the date didn't go so well... and his opponent is only going to let the poor guy "bust a nut" the way he wants to.

"Sorry about that bud, no hard feelings, eh?" The meathead stud, easily three times the size and weight of the jobber, rocked those stones harder than the young'un's hand ever has. The heel laughs off the manhood brutality, but you could just about see the tears about to come out of the jobber's purple face... almost as purple as his balls. Poor kid holds onto his shattered dreams as hard as he can, but the bully crushed any drop of manhood out of those grapes. Should've left those valuables at home, because those puny white boy nuts never stood a chance in the ring! Hard to tell if the ballbreaker came from those meaty knuckles, muscly forearms, jewel-shattering kneecaps, thunder thighs, or that wieldy boot of his. All I know is meathead's got some tackle to carry out a lineage-ender like that with ease, and I sure wish he'd screw my nuts like that. Hot!

Mr. Big Shoe also happens to be Mr. Big in the Pants... and rasslin' dirty ain't cheatin' for a man who wins. The cocky jock drops his weight on the poor kid, and -- without warning -- drives that big Nike shoe straight into the dude's unsuspecting left nut. A bunt to the bag is enough to make any man rush to nurse the spunk bunkers, but this dude got locked into a pretty compromising position... his swimmers drown as the poor nugget shrinks in fear of a real man. Though, hey, if you're gonna ram the power of your manhood into another dude's sorry excuse for a sack, Nike's got some great advice for ya -- "JUST DO IT." You might even get half his set as a trophy, especially when he can only manage to shoot blanks for his girlfriend later. Ha!

Kevin Steen isn't exactly your stereotypical oh-so-friendly Canadian neighbor, but he is a man that has some real pride in his manhood! Big ass, big balls, big attitude. What's not to love? And it looks like Kevin is packing some serious spunk tanks... take a look at when he sang Daniel Bryan happy birthday: It turns out that the original video has a comment that perfectly describes how I feel about this moment: Kevin's no-DQ match with Tommy Dreamer turned out to be the perfect place to put those bull balls through the ringer -- within the first five minutes, we had our first nutshot! "BOOM!" -Tommy Dreamer Kevin yelps as Tommy knocks his swimmers out cold. Looks like Kevin might have tried to go low on Tommy, but Tommy sent that move straight back into the swingset. With Kevin's nuts wide open for attack, Tommy punts those balls harder than Kevin ever wanted him to. The sack attack sends Kevin reeling out of the r...

Travis Mascho -- known as Travis Titan in the ring -- is one spunky 5' 8" powerhouse. He's a former running back, and he's really molded his figure well after getting into the wrestling scene. Travis carries his manly demeanor well, but you also can't ignore how perfectly thick he is in just the right places... And we can see that this dude is wearing his rugged persona with pride.  "Follow my lead and I promise we’ll win this whole damn thing!” This bro sure knows how to work up a sweat... and a fat load of that power comes from those ripe boys below. His work hard, play hard attitude takes him to another level both in and out of the ring. I mean, clearly, this dude was meant to work out. He has it in his blood. Nice protein packs, Mascho. But not everyone is Mascho's biggest fan... take Joe Acer, for example. With some good pec smacks and tossing around, Acer's pretty made up about what a dude like Tr...

Mr. (Ken) Anderson has cultured an image of masculinity with his dad bod, and his boys have got an attitude to show it! Blue Chub and Fat Lefty say hello. But even when you can't see them, Mr. Anderson's babymakers are hard at work to pump out the cockiness a man needs. You can smell how proud the Anderson twins are of their owner right through his jeans. The boys are flexin' up and down hard with that shirt on. But hold up -- meet American hero Kurt Angle. Having been in the Olympics, this stud knows  manhood, and you can a sense of this alpha-type in his demeanor. "Yeah man, I get in the ring to clap sacks." Well, Mr. Angle, why won't you show us how it's done? Towards the end of TNA Lockdown 2010, Kurt finishes business by choking out poor Anderson. As he struggles to get out of the brute's grip, we get another good peek at his sack. Big balls call for big punishment. After Anderson gives in, Kurt gi...